Take me from the past of all my mistakes to where the future lies

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 14:14

sumone is happy.
sumone is dreaming.
sumone is smiling.
sumone is gugugaga-ing.
sumone is thankful.
and it's all coz of.....

saw my apek!!!
gosh..
i missed him so.
huggies apek**
too bad faizal is nowhere to be seen.

ok now where haf my bf gone to?
u dunch noe?
well, me too..
its been like so long.
i duno.
is he avoiding me?
am i not a gud gf?
i dunch noe.
we've not been communicating much lately.
nahh..
everything is okayy.
and WILL be okayy.

mr.c is cute.
cute as in reallie cute.
want me to describe it fer u?
well.. he's like a dream guy.
tall, nice body, cute, adorable, caring, sweet
and his smile will for sure MELTS every gurlls heart.
im glad, im his fren.
so far yet so near..
thanx..
and pls, make me smile always..

i cant believe sumone actuallie complaint bt me to a fren.
walauwe.. like, if im tired la dis few days.
bukan nye tk nk tegur.
anyhow say im "tao" (in chinese)
takpe takpe.

like i finished my lab test la ehh.
open book sumore.
too bad e other classes hafta squeezed their brains out.
but,it wont run..
i dunch noe if e codes are right or not.

went off to e308 fer sum meeting..
ntah la.
missed alot of stuffs dat i shud be doing.
i'll get everything done by tmr.
i lurve aishah.
fer being patience.
thanx.

i saw bedah n yana!!!
seeing em, no matter wat, always make me smile..
even tho fer a moment.

went home straight.
i've simply haf no mood.
screw u la.
sumtyms, i jus duno y do i want it to b this way..
uurrGGGhhhhh..
u can do anything.
anything dat u want.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 14:58

mondae blues always turn me off..
it sux lar..
big tym.

1st thing,
he didnt call me.
2nd thing,
i duno wen e hell are they paying my school fees.
3rd thing,
i haf to wait fer e 2 buggers whu ALWAES loves to come late.
kpale pantat la.. pk aku suke pe stay pat situ lamer2..
lau dorang byr gaji aku overtym takpe jugak..
4th thing,
at sum tym.. someone or sumthing will tend to make u smile
and everything will be alryt.

heh.
im tired.
hafta study fer lab test tmr.
its open book btw.
nyehh..

and so she smile herself to sleeeepppppppppp...
u make my dayy**

Monday, May 29, 2006 03:50

oh well~~
i haf no mood..
things were wrong ever since yesterdae.

like once i reached werk place..
i was told dat i need to pay a sum of 40 bux due to yest shortage.
but it was fcuking not fair la..
coz wen i do closing, it was an excess of 40 bux.
so it means dat e post hav an extra of 40 bux.
but wen e nyt people doe closing, ders suddenly
a shotage of 40 bux and Im e one whu hafta pay fer it?
like y me? fer god sake..
i swear ders$300 float inside dat post before i do e closing.
mcm siall ar.. mane aku nk dpt siakk tu 40 ketul?
my pay has not been transferred into my acc yet.
mayb i'll get it next mnth she said.
yelah, lau aku da kena byr all e shortage sumer,
gaji aku stakat brape je seyy.
puas hati i find sum other new jobs pe.
cb cb cb cb..

if ders anyone whus wants to sabotage me..
i dun fcuking mind..
tapi grow up ar..
like im e youngest der..
apa mau sabo sabo sioott..
mepek ar..

and yeah.
i failed a task.
so now my name has been blacklisted.
by e headquarters..
nvm, i still haf 2 more chances
like, urghhhh!!!!!!!!
i've never been in this kind of situation before.
like seriously, i cant take it..
but i haf to endure.
yes.. ENDURE..

zila kol me.
had a few minutes chat wif her.
i can see dat she is very happy ..
they're goin sentosa tmr wif e rest.
i miss her lar..
i seriously do..
i miss those tym wen we're so inseparatable.
"wherever zila ade, dya mesti ade"
i miss those late nite talks we usually haf on da phone.
i miss those usually last minute calls asking me out on an outing.
i miss those us** cam-whoring together.
i miss those "adeq, lets go to skool together"
i miss my sista alot can?
haiz..
but things were diff now.
i dunno if its me. or anything i did.
or mayb coz im too bz rite now.

ok like i called zda darll.
we had a long talk.
ders so much to talked about.
i think our convos wont end if its not fer my ayg calling.
things are getting so complicated nowadays.
i dunch reallie noe wat they want.
i dunch reallie noe wat all this means.
but wadeva it is..
**LET CROSS OUR FINGERS**
and juz ignore wad we hafta ignore.
okayy darll?
yeah, i miss khai too..
mayb we 3 shud go on on outing,
like aGAIN** can?

zda darll,
i lurve her la.
i juz do.
i noe her she noe me.
i understand her she understand me.
i heart her she heart me.
wat more do we need?
our happiness comes first ok, remember dat..
if they lurves u, they shud respect e decisions u've made..

more n more silence between us.
i mean, we jus kept quiet fer dat convos.
haizz..
i hated yesterdae.
i hated it so muchh..

ok so gd morning!!!
lets look on e brighter side todae.
i woke up upon hearing his calls.
ok i lurve him now..
(smilling)
and always do..

im werking in a couples of hours tym..
lets juz pray fer e best.
i might be new.
i might alwaes be seen smiling despite e shitts dat happens..
i might not noe anything yet.
but, dun ever crossed e limits i've set.

im werking wif nicholas todae.
i'd be happy*

sumtyms, life juz not going e way u wanted it to~~

Saturday, May 27, 2006 14:49

e sound of water splashing over e rocks..
e wind blowing all over me..
e bright stars sparkling above us..
e great atmosphere surrounding us..
everything was close to perfectt..

i lurve him soo..
i duno y i cant stop it.
and i hope i wont stop it..

i lorve mine n i noe bedah lurves her's too..
we lorves ours..
soo sooo muchh.

so much so yesterday sweet n adorable couple date..
whee.. it kips on playing in my mind..
awww...
hhehehheehez..

okayy.. like i went to skool early todae..
punctual lar ehh..
i actuallie paid attention to this tym tutorial lesson he taught.
mayb coz its interesting..
hmm..
met darll yoko fer lunchh.

met my mentor.
discuss some personal stuffs..
received advices n opinions..
which also made me late fer my 1pm lab.
class end early todae.
n im e last to end e lab practical.
ya rite..
boddss...
lain kali dtg lambat lagi ar..
but i manage to finished it by 3pm..
mentor said dat i actuallie improved.
yeahh..
from gpa 2.87 to 2.975..
wow... i tot i dropped to 2.57
but in da record it was stated 2.97..
so.. i better aim fer a higher GPA this sem.

off i went home.
had a short nap.
before i get ready fer werk.

my dad called me.
i dunch noe y i had this "scared feeling" wenever i talked to him.
like he's my dad la okayy..
goshh..

he came down to my werk place tadi..
i hug him once i saw him.
goshh, guess i miss him soo muchh..
like yeah, i longed fer a fatherly love..
i love him..
i love my dad..
i do haf a dad dunch i?
i've never seen him so happy in seeing my face.
but.. at tyms.. sumthing will always cropped up n im e one at lost..
i duno lar..
im sick n tired of being in a divorce family.
being a child of a broken family.
being e one their always after for..
being e one in confusion on which sides to take..
being e one whu always hafta put a mask
in front of each of em juz to show dat im satisfied in my life..
in wadeva decision they make.
im soo sick la.
mcm nk lari rumah jek..
get out of this shiit once n fer all..
but..
nvm..
juz forget it..

im contented dt at least i still haf 2 of my biological parents wif me.
eventho not by my side but i knew its in their heart..

so smile always dya..
u've tolerating it ever since ur 8..
juz hang on a lil more..

goshh!!!!
like i nvr had e chance to see or talked to my ayg todae..
miss him alreadyy..

lab tests n quizes are coming soon..
like a week more n i haven even start studying.
my scedule fer werk nxt week is already out..
im werking on mondae n sunday ONLY.
so, i guess dats gives me more n enuf tym to revise..

yeahh..
and so..
i think i shud hibernate now.
it shud gives me all e energy i need fer tmr.

kynn,
im always here.
u can always turn to me wen u haf probs..
my ears are always here to listen..
and i still lurve u okayy?..

Friday, May 26, 2006 08:13

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 13:24

(stamping and throwing things around my room)
like WTF?!!!
WTF?!!!
arggghh!!!!

ok i've let sum of it out..
hope i will b ok.
damm it lar..
i mean, y?
why?
anyone haf e ans?
NO!! yeah a big NO!!

i've always thought being in lurve is e most wonderful thing ever..
but i think, im wrong.
everything starts wif fun n laughter and
it always hafta end wif hurt n tears.
why?
im asking now, WHY?
is it a must?
haiz...
ok like i've cried to make myself feels better.

i hate our convos now.
it seems so diff.
way too diff.
do it hafta change?
i'll say we shud stick to our normal convos.
normal as in in da past.
i dunno lar..
i dun wanna think to much.
i dun wanna jump into conclusion.
i dun wanna.. haiz..
forget it lar..

had fun wif e armpiits juz now.
went unda blk
fer lunch.
lepak-ing wif em was urber greatness..
wif drinks, foods, lighter, ciggs all over e table.
suprisingly, im cutting down on my number of ciggs per day.
well dat depands too..
tk tau pulak yati n iqa is afraids of cats.
i mean, little cats.
hahaha..
klaka la korang lari2 tadi..
siao..

fattah n fir!!!!!!
aku miss korang jugak lar eh.
im sorie but i cant make it on fridae sal im werking.
but i'll soon join u guys one lar..
dun werry..
miss korang lar pantat..
one fine day, we will go lepak-ing like usual okayy?

zahidah!!!!
kiut lar ehh korang..
wat funny couples..
alwaes laughing, always smilling.
kadang2, nk jugak tgk ko n him serious.
alep always kols me.
but i di not pick up since i've already asleep.
i duno wat he wants lar babe..
yeah..
reallie looking forward to e triple thingy**
like we all will be sooo... nvmind..
hahaz..
see u wed darling..
i lurve u more den anything la.
after him i mean.
huahuahuahauahaa..

aby!!!
sorie if u were'nt expecting a call from me.
but after so long, yest was like some kind of a convos wif u.
i mean we reallie update each other wif everything.
like c'mon, i noe we were excited to tell out all e things we kept this few weeks.
n i didnt noe dat im dat special fren to u.
awwww... sweeet kan..
3 yrs la ok?
dun worry, im still nadia u knew since 02.
and i can assure u,
dat im e best Gf u can ever replace talking to u at nytss.
coz i noe dat i am.
and u told me dat too.. =)
im touched lar u..
hahahahahz..
and if only u did told me bt *xxxxx*
i think, nah.. i dun wanna mention it..
like i always say " tk dpt lat ehh"
hahahhha...
miss u already..
may u b happy always okay?

aki!!
pe jek..
mane ade seyy..
mepek ..
nxt tym wanna noe stuffs, hear it from my own mouth can?
and not frm others.
coz its my life, ur actuallie talking about.

im confused
did we want it to b this way?
do we haf a choice before we took up this decision?
are we rushing into stuffs?
y things change so drastically?
why? why? why?
i lurve u and i still do.
but do you?

Sunday, May 21, 2006 05:38

more n more..

omg!!! whus is unda dat thing?

boo!!! whus else but Us**

bedah n me
wan bedah me rizz**
lurvelyy uss**
opposite attracts**
us**
sweeetttnesst..
wen boredom takes place..

kakak, rizz, yana, zila, me

my beloved sista.. nurazila..

japanese n malay best GF.

always n counting..**
me iqa bo..

05:22

here are e updated pixies!!!!
gohh..
it's been weekss.

me iqa bo

ink darls

fyza kynn me

haz n me

me kynn bedah**
ainn darl n me
me n my bro lurpe**
my syaang since ages..

years n years..

i lurve her.. alott!!

Saturday, May 20, 2006 14:08

finished my lesson early..
finished my lab thingy..

off i went to my clubroom.
i heard dat sum people were not happy wif me being e SM.
i dunch noe lar..
well, first thing first..
lau tk happy, pls voice out.
i noe i cant make it to e drama training every tuesday
due to my weekly nite classes.
but, im trying my best here.

i mean, if u think im chosen coz of sum "personal" reason, then ur wrong.
definitely wrong.
im sick n tired of this larr..
pls lar..
grow up people..
like, urghhh wadeva..

afta sum chats n joking around, we went home.
sum had their trainings,
sum goin out.
me? i went home lar okayy..

heh. kinda miss hafiz's "okayy"
heh. reallie missing me n aby's usual convos.
heh. missing e LOST usual hang outs.
heh. sort of missing e "apek nyonyah"
act of moronic n craziest moments.
heh. i duno lar..
like i miss so many peopla can?
ever since i started werk..
like ders juz no tym fer me. my life.
and my usual slacking moments..
wad to do..
haiizzz..

hafta werk tmr. looking forward fer it..

i lurve him lurve him
im sooo in lurve wif himmm..
(looking at our pic and smile)
sumwer in my heart, ders always u ayg..

Friday, May 19, 2006 14:56

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
(scream like hell)

gosshhhhh!!!!!
i didnt tot dat it wud ended up this way..
like wadeva lar ehh..
dun expect me to...
urghh!!!
it's ok..
im always forgiving..
ur always forgiven..
haizz..
i dunno..
if everything gonna turn out gud in da end..
i juz... dunch noe..

*cross my finger n pray fer e best*

12:20

wwooookkkayyy..
im currently having my lab lesson..
n im here blogging..
kimmekkk..
ape nk jadi ni dya..
haiz.. hafta kol my dad todae..
a lil reminder.

and so, todae my day was very slack..
i mean, i went fer today's morning lab
n i got to learn sumthing.yeah, n i mean it..

spent half of my day wif darl yoko juz now..
kiut lar ehh dier..
kawan aku tu..
had lunch, sum convos, sum laughter, n etc together.
miss her alot lar okayy.
she even sent me to my lecture n stay till it end..
sweeet kan?sayang ko lar babe..
heartsss..<33

met nurull, ema n ain!!!
miss korang..like alot can?
i mean its weird la. like even tho i met u juz now,
im glad i knew u guys..
seriously...
i heart u babes alott can?

mcm i saw afiq n fir tadi.
yeah, afiq juz cant stop disturbing lar eh.
mcm nk cekik2 dier aje la..
kong asam btol..takpe2..

meeting my ayg in a couple of hours soon.
i hafta photocopy e andayu script and do wat i hafta do..
ermm, aku nga bankrupt ni..
boleh mintak claim tak?
21 pages lar ehh. ni aru act 1..
lum agi act 2.btw kakak, i di not throw away e receipt.
masih ade lar ehh..boleh kiter mintak claim same2 ekh?
hehehee.. k lah, i wan go study..sibok blog jek..

ain!!!!
mcm azizi pat sbelah lab aku lar ehh..
kiut au dier!!!tu la, ko nye nirvana man!!

aiming fer sumone name isa..wonder whu is he eh?..hmmm...

Thursday, May 18, 2006 14:04

woooaaahhh..
it's been days since i last blogged..
been busy, i mean, VERY busy lar this few days.
my body aches, my head aches, my leg aches..
everything aches. sakit lar ehhh...
still, i hafta endure..

werk from 7am-1pm yest.
afta which i hafta rushed to skool fer my 2pm lecture.
which of coz, i didnt turn up as im seriously tired
and fcukingly nid sum rest fer myself..
had lunch wif abang, yana, wan n bedah..
afiq joined us afta dat..
i duno wat ikan was dat but i loike it lar ehh..
sedap lar seyy..

and so i went fer my lab n nyt class.
when zila msg me saying i was needed at e308 afta my nyt class.
mcm wen we reached der, mcm bnyk lar ehh org..
wak, fai, qai all ade seyy..

reached home, i had my shower and all.
and i read e script kakak gave to me..
until i fell asleep..

you're e sweetest thing dat i've ever known..
~im in lurve im in lurve im in lurve~

so dat was yest.
TODAE..
i had werk at 7am-3pm.
which of coz, was being extended lar..
mcm, i still hafta rushed to skool lar fer my tarian..
he fetched me and off we went to get cake fer wawa..
celebrating wif my INK dARLs..
slept in da bus. sorie if u dun get to talk wif me or wat la ayg..
i juz cant take it lar..
penat sngat la..

like wawa had choosen e people whu and which dance their in..
mcm aku tkde lar ehh..
hahahha.. sedih tapi takpe..
i stil haf one major role to play a part fer..
while they were dancing, kakak explained
to me wat n how e things shud b done..

mcm, i wana talked to my manager la..
mcm, i cant probably give my all to my job lar kan..
since i've got more impt stuffs to do here..
mayb i tell em i cant werk on thur n sat..
which left me monday nyt, tue morning, wed morning
and sunday afternoon to werk.
i mean, 4 days/wk is enuf wat fer new starter n part tymer..
e prob is, i duno how to actuallie approach her n say it..
haiz.. dya dya..
still, i hafta bucked up on my studies..
like im having my lab test lar on wk 7..
mcm, i hafta blaja lar ehh..
MAHA blaja..

yeah, went banquet afta tarian pract.
ate nasi ayam..
got free wanton lar ehh..
mcm dat seller keep emphasizing on e free wanton lar ehh..
mcm kiter dgr ar ape dier ckp,
but he kip repeating it again and again and it was such a turn off seyy

k dats fer todae lar..
penat lar..
mcm, my ipod usb tkleh open ar..
kalau all my files are gone..
aku tk tau ape nk ckp lar ehh..
tu part, aku cmfirm plus chop BINGIT!!!!
tapi belom lagi lar..
hahaahahhaaaahhhhhaaaa..

zahidah!!!
aku syg ko lar ehh..
seriously..
im here k if u nid me..
dun b stress..
i'll alwaysbe der wen u nid me..
ape2 pun, take it slow okies?
dun rush!!

khai!!
aku rindu ko lar ehh.
am reallie sorie bt dat past thingy..
im glad ur happy joining dat thingy.
pape nanti aku n bedah turun lar ok?

aisha..
be strong in wat u reallie want in ur life k?
i mean, seriously, kesian alzrin..
he reallie lurve u n wud change la dear..
he realize his mistake ready, so y not give him a chance?
coz i dun want u to regret in e end.
coz i think dat other guy, is not worth it fer u lar dear....
i heard alot..
i juz dun want u to fall into his tricks or watsoeva..
think twice k dear...
im here fer u..
dun worry..

k people,m im free on fridae..
beep me alryt?
coz im werking on both weekends..
mcm siiiaallll ar..
da tk leh pi mega perdana..
mofoshiiiiiit!!!!!!
wadeva lar ehh..

k lah, nk pi tdo..
sweeeeeeeet dreammmmms...
huggies to ALL my lurve onesssss....

to abg2 a.k.a fir
happy birthdae lar ehh..
may all ur dreams come true n be happy wereva u ar..
insyallah..

Monday, May 15, 2006 14:55

wheeeeeeee...
bouncing on my chair wif e
feeling of satisfied and awesome.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAE!!!!
a small but meaningful celebration i had.
a wide smile spread across my hectic face.

jus came back frm sending him off..
goshh.. miss him ready lar..

i had fun.
wif him.
wif my family.
wif us altogether.
im soo in lurve wif him lar ehh..
matair aku satu tu..
ok u can say im mad or wadeva, coz i am mad.
madly in lurve wif him..
my one n only him..
hahah..
i lurve u lar ayang..
missing u already..
e moments wen we hafta part is e hardest thing fer me to do..
goshh.. cant believe im this mad..
skali skale rase giler tu ok jugak pe..
bukan nye hari2 kan..

im reallie sorie if e past few days were difficult fer u.
im realie sorie.
trully do..

bought a swensen cookies n creme ice-cream cake fer my mum.
the look on her face reallie shows dat she was surprised.
i mean, very surprised..
at least she is happy on MOTHER'S DAY..

ok ok..
i hafta start skool early tmr.
and i hafta werk..
damm it lar..
sok ade dia lar ehh..
last episode!!!!
i hafta find a way to say im NOT free tmr.
like duhh..

better make it face.
k i hafta go sleeepppppp now..
off she went ot dreamland wif her beloved ones...
ZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzZZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzz..

Sunday, May 14, 2006 14:54

got to noe fauzi..
haahaz..
justin fren.
thank you ehh...

my legs kinda hurt lar deyy
ok like she taught me to do closing la ehh..
mcm aru brape hari keje seyy.
teach me so many stuffs..

autopass, ezlink, bills, payments by net, payments by cash
do e chiller, sum house cleaning, sum stock up,
close and open account, check expiry date, regitration of sim cards..
cleaning of drinks wadeva they called dat..
kimmek!!! mcm bnyk lar ehh aku blaja..
but, lucky im a fast learner..
lau tk, pelan pelan kayuh lar gerll...

manager asked me to werk 11pm-7am nxt week.
i duno y me?
y not e others.
those whu worked longer n more experienced den me..
but, i say i cant.
sumone dun approve me werking late at nite lar..
same goes to my mum too..
unless, i reallie haf too..
den i cant do anything.

its nice werking lar.
actualie, depends on, wif whom u werk wif.
so far i had fun n reallie enjoying maself there.
thanx to AKi fer helping me get e job.

my job ends alil bit later den expected.
zila came lar ehh..
mcm siall..
hahaha..
u make me laugh lar gurl.
den off she went to town.

saw him todae.
my misses fer him lessen.
meeting him tmr again.
n i hafta go jurong lar..
can take e same train as him after e bdae party.
how happy i am nowadays..
i lurve u.. yes i do..

Friday, May 12, 2006 11:23

unbelievable (crag david)

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and you changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable,
to finally be in love,
Somewhere I never thought I'd be.
In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me some how.
I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable,
to finally be in love,
Somewhere I never thought I'd be.
When I think of what I have, and this chance I nearly lost,
I can't help but break down, and cry.
Ohh yeah, break down and cry.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable,
to finally be in love,
Somewhere I never thought I'd be.
Now I see, what love means.

gosh, i couldnt believe it
but i noe dat im not dreaming.
it happened n reallie did..
n yeah, i've started werking.
it's fun down der la.
seriously.
gosh, cant believe im commited to like
more den one stuffs now.
i hope i can handle all this easily..
hopefully.

mcm i will be e SM fer e upcoming production lar ehh.
thanx to zahidah..
wadeva it is, susah or senang, i'll make sure i can do it.
mcm i wanna join e drama lar eh, but i shy.
fcuk lar dya, sampai biler siol ko nk malu..?!!!
nvm, dun tok abt dat now..

khai n zahidah,
im rellie sorie pasal smlm lar..
aku tau ko marah pat aku.
but seriously khai, if u n ur guy gadoh
sal benda nie da kirekan mrepek ar..
i meant mcm everything is last minute seyy.
i noe korang da janji, but still..
ala.. i hope this thingy wont drag lar ehh..

wawa,
happy belated bdae
and hope wadeva u do in future,
ur happiness cums first b4 others.
sumtyms, we hafta be selfish to run fer our own needs.
bcoz at e end of e dae, its ur life dat ur dealing wif..
not others..
be strong k darlingg..

ayg, u opened my heart to fall fer u
i duno how u did it but, im glad u do..
im trying, i hope u can see dat im reallie trying.
juz fer you my dear...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006 22:27

sumtyms i feel like shitt.
double shittness..
damn u..

wen to skool as per normal yesterdae.
had lecture all e way from 8-6pm.
imagine having lectures in a day?
how pathetic is dat?
i wud rather haf lecture or lab rather then lecture..

i met up wif my fydarLs yest.
cibai sak..
mcm kiter tk plan pun ar..
mcm it all happened in a snap ar..
mcm wooahh lar siall..
had dinner wif em.
great laugh wif em.
bitched wif em.
mocked wif em.
goin gugugaga ova sum hot dudus wif em.
and even enjoying sum disturbing moments wif em.
i knew sum people were so mad wif us yest.
truly sorrrie. especially e mamats pat train n e mamat pat luar taka.
no hard feelings la ok..
and so e nyt ends wen we all decide to leave.
since im working n their skooling.

haidir haidir..
tk sangka plak ko mcm gitu eh?
giler babi siak..
mcm aku tk nk and tk pernah jadi matair ko la..
n 2 werds, "TK DPT " lah ehh..
mcm i didnt noe u turn out to b sumone pervetic?
yuckzz!!! like omg!! wtf?!!
kimmekk.. giler babi siak..
and pls stop treating my fren like dat.
coz dats e 1 fcuking reason y i nvr layan u in da 1st place.

urghh!!!
juz read zahidah darl's bloggie..
aku tau ko syg aku, aku pun syg ko jugak lar ehh..
yesh!! we share DAVE ok?
our MAN!!!
correction, it's DALE syg.. bukan DAVE eh..
cibai3!!! asal plak tk jadi eh wed?
da baik2 plan..
miss u alot lar babe..
like seriously okayy..

ok let me tell u wat i experience on my job juz now.
hmm, kinda easy..
some house cleaning.
some stocking.
some cashier.
am happy coz e people der as as crazee as me.
i think.
i mean, sooner or later, we're gonna click dat well rite..
n yeah, so juz think abt it..
happy2 pun still was very tiring lar..
i mean i was out e whole day yest and
hafta werk early in da morning and im having my nyt class tonite.
hectic lar seyy.
serious.

had lunch wif elf juz now.
ur funny la elf..
hahahhaz..
now i noe wat u think of me..
kepayungan u!!!!

ok like my project is out now.
i mean NOW!!
im doin wif evonne.
n i wanna pass this project like how i did last few sem.
ok like i reallie hafta concentrate man..
im sure i can handle it.
coz i noe i can.

and having fwens whu cares always put a cherry on top of e cake
a total perfection**

iqa, aku tau la ko da date dgn dier.
jgn nk malu2 plak..
bo, jgn pukul aku leh tk.?
nanti jantung aku terkluar, mati au..
pe jek..
aku tau aku ngah mrepek skrg..
but still, i noe korang akan ktawe bile bace ni kan kan kan?

ain aisha nurulll!!!!
wen u all da set e date n timing do update me a.s.a.p alryt?
i juz cant wait lar babe..
cant wait to PARTY~~

at some moments u juz make me happy.
i duno y but i do.

cuz i dont wanna lose u
bcoz i noe, im just a fren to u.
bcoz we will nvr be togeteher-
even f it hurts, it will still be e same.

Monday, May 08, 2006 13:41

im happy..
so the very happy can?
im elated..
like wtf can?

wat a wonderful yet gleeful day i had today..
i feel like im in heaven..
so spirited and blissful..
thanx to whom make it happen.

but still,
im not satisfied abt e "when a stranger calls" movie.
mcm mrepek ar..
jala crite pun mcm tk faham..
shud haf watched MI3 juz now..
nvm, dat doesnt matter..
yg penting, i had a wonderful tym wif dat someone todae.
dat matters it all..

received a call frm my werkplace.
lets say, im free tmr coz she asked me to start werk on TUESDAY morning.
yeah, 8am-1pm instead of on monday nite at 7pm-11pm.
so after my day at werk, im goin off to skool straight since i start at 2pm..
which will end at nite as im having my nyte clas on dat very day..

yeah..
so dat will be it now..
a new life im leading to..
currently handling, a job, my studies, both sides of my broken family, my frens and HIM.
now, all i hafta do is, TRY..

i miss u already..

Saturday, May 06, 2006 11:26

050506
05:05pm

wat more do i need?

10:17

Name 20 people you can think right now at the top of your head.
Don't read the questions til you write the names of all 20 people.
Ready?Start!

1. zahidah
2. kynn
3. iqa
4. dayah
5. mira
6. zila
7. helmi(apek)
8. sufyan hadi
9. yana
10. afiq
11. dhan
12. rizz
13. zai
14. ain (twinnies)
15. nurull
16. aisha
17. e1
18. ariff
19. fattah
20. fie *hawt*

Now the questions......:
1) How did you meet 14?
-well, its a long story. but thanx to a certain sumone, u actuallie brought us together.
and she is no other den my TWIN..

2) What would you do if you've never meet 1?
-i duno wat to say..
like she n me haf sumting in common lar ehh..
mcm she always take my mann!!
mcm we kinda make e same pose wen it cums to cam-whoring..

3) What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
- ermm.. one is pretty wif luvly butt and eother is hawt like i already say, wif
fair skin n cute smile. i think it wud be ok fer me.. tapi mcm ade skit tk kena ar..

4) Did you ever like 19?
-hahahaahahaa.. never before.
only dat i find him hot jek..
yg lain je yg sebok2 kasi "story" hot..

5) Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
-ermm?.. tak tau plak ehh. tapi lau dah dijodohkan, tk akan ke mane..

6) Describe 3.
-small, rajin, short, kiut, always laugh wen we see each other, always haf story to tok about.
i lurve her so la..

7) Do you think 8 is attractive?
- attractive? ok la. mcm kiut ar features dier.
but still, he's a great dudu to me..

8) Tell me something about 7.
-used to be my bestfren. very close very the rapat.
we used to labelled ourselves "apek n nyonya".
but, sumthing went wrong and i think we go on our separate ways..
we're not as close anymore.. kinda miss him lar..

9) Do you know any of 12's family?
-hmm, i noe his younger sis, ain.
but, im sure he noes mine better...

10) What's 8's favourite?
-ungs? hahhaa..

11) What would you do if 18 confessed that he/she likes you?
-woooahhh!!! i will be shock.
but, a fren will alwaes be a fren.
i juz noe him too well..

12) What language does 15 speak?
- malay, english n... i dunoo..

13) Who is 9 going out with?
-my BROTHER!!!! as in my shaz family bro..
and their soo cute together lah..

14) How old is 16 now?
-20

15) When is the last time you talked to 13?
- this afternoon, wen he called my cellphone askin me if rizz is wif me.

16) What is 2's favourite band/singer?
-she's into reggae n rmb.

17) Would you ever date 4?
- dat is my bestfren. n she is a gerl. im straight. not a lesbian ok..

18) Would you ever date 7?
- no.. coz i just treat him as a bestfren. n nothing more..
but we had gone fer a lot of outings together.
i wouldnt call dat a DATE.. of coz..

19) Is 15 single?
- yes!! n looking..

20) What is 10's last name?
- abdul hamid.

21) Would you ever be in serious relationship with 11?
- hahaahaz.. dat is like my ah ka liao..
no way.. i juz luv him as a fren. sumone whu is easy to tok to n always making me laugh.

22) What school does 3 go to?
- nanyang polytechnic. same course as me.

23) Where does 6 live?
-amk. blk 5** amk ave ** and of coz..
in my heart..

24) What is your favourite thing about 5?
- i duno. but we can click and tolerate each other nuisance dat well.
dats y we called each other "bestfren"

25) Have you seen number 1 naked?
-nope.

had sum talks..
is till duno wat are e chances yet..
but all i do now is hope n pray..
i miss u already..

Friday, May 05, 2006 00:21

Duhai kekasih pujaan hatiku
Apakah kau memberiku satu arti
Sedikit rasa yang bisa kumengerti
Bukan sumpah atau janji

Buktikanlah bila kau ada cinta
Setulus hatimu bisa menerima
Sebatas kejujuran yang kau miliki
Bukan sekedar bersama

Jujurlah padaku bila kau tak lagi cinta
Tinggalkan aku
Bila tak mungkin bersama
Jauhi diriku lupakanlah aku
O… Ho… O… Ho…

Jujurlah padaku bila kau tak lagi cinta
Tinggalkan aku
Bila tak mungkin bersama
Jauhi diriku lupakanlah aku
Selamanya

Thursday, May 04, 2006 14:49

halooo..
im back!!

back from my very own fantasy..
a new start.
a new beggining.
a new month.
a new bloggie..
huahuhuaaa

like im talking to him again.
as in all my burden are being lifted from my head
im glad, things will go as usual.
i've realize from my very own mstake.
and every mistake i made is a lesson to learn.
and im learning it though..

mcm tangan aku sakit lar ehh
cibai cibai cibai..
mcm bara tu terkena tangan aku larr..
mcm perit lar ehh.
tak mungkin kan aku nk maki tu rokok..
mcm im suppose to stop ar,
but i duno y baru2 ni aku mcm isap lebih dari yg patut ar..
one fine day, i noe, i WILL stop.
hopefully..

i had a bad n good day yest.
bad coz of sumthing.gud coz of sumthing too..
this tym, i didnt say i dunno.
this tym i knew wat i want.
this tym, i'll leave it to HIM to decide.
this tym, i think im gonna get hurt again.
but ders always him in one corner of my heart.
i duno y, he juz do..

**When you love someone,
And you love them with your heart,
It never disappears
When you're apart.
And when you love someone
And you've done all you can do,
You set them free,
And if that love was true....
When you love someone
It will all come back to you

i dun think it is actuallie true.
i've been der and done dat.
though we love each other, we never get to be together.

a conversation wif some dearest ones, rings my head..
they say if i really want him, den do wat i hafta do.
DUN let him go.
they say if i reallie treasure him, do wat my heart thinks its right.
after all, im e one whus is gonna be in da relationship..
not them.
now, that paticular sentences/phrase is stuck in my head.
thanx to abang, kynn, an and zila fer understanding me.

The only things in life you regret,
Are the risks that you didn't take.
i took it all. i say it all.
and i duno wat are e chances left..

at tyms, looking at him
already makes me smile.
at tyms, seeing him smile
already makes me happy
and having some eye-contacts wif u
makes me wanna jump fer joy, but i juz stay calm.
i duno y but, u're der, at e corner of my heart..
n i hope, u'll stay der as long as u can..
coz i want u to..

no one noe wats in my heart
coz i dun wanna tell it off yet.