Take me from the past of all my mistakes to where the future lies

Monday, May 28, 2007 19:47

soo long huh??

hurhurhur..
guess wat?
attachment is not at somerset as wat i've tot.
it's juz their Headquarter.
urrgghh..

got to noe Marcus!!
hahahah.
wad a small werld huh?
but we're posted to 2 diff places.
urgghh..
ingatkan ade members sey.
now, alone again.

in case i forget..
this lady shocked me.
she actuallie touched my breast.
i was stunned.
abit scared of coz.
lucky,im not attached der.
ffuuhh!!

had breakfast wif Marcus.
slack fer awhile as we dun wanna rush.
chit chat and keep on imagining how it's gonna be like.
Marcus says my company got alot of mats..
as in MATS!!!
omg..
dats is a no no ok.

he's at sembawang while im at st james bussiness district.
wonder wer dat is?
well,i got lost on myy 1st day too..
hahaha.
its near Vivocity.
near St james power station n near Sentosa gateway.
figure it out k?

and my first day?
well,it was fun plus weird.
and like wat Marcus said,yes, ders alot of Mats.
not matreps lahh..
it's like a Male + Malay werking environment.
as yes, most of e pple der are of my race.
i've got myself a very nice boss.
wheee..

he brought me around da building.
dats wen i actuallie noe wat he mean by Kampong Melayu.
e pple der are nice, frenly and of coz, mengatal.
haizz..

kinda bored actuallie coz i've got nothing to do.
helped e senior engineer to do sum stuffs.
i had fun la ok.
it'sonly first dae, and i've learnt soo much.

if der asked me to continue werking der as a full tym after getting my Dip,
i wud consider.
heheheeee...

Friday, May 25, 2007 22:01

im a pessimist.

i do need confidence.
i need morale support, and guidance.
some positive thinking to make me open up and show the others that i can do it too.

but if people keep lookin down on me as if i wont be able to make it happen
or i can barely handle the situation..
or mayb im juz wasting my tym..
or im nuts..

that wont get me nowhere either.

yes, pple always wants e best in life.
and wen i get motivated to do such stuffs, someone juz shoot it on me.
and *poof* my hopes and enthusiasm went down juz like that.
and i hate that.
why cant they juz believe in me and gave me their support instead?
haaaizz...

if it hafta be this way, i guess im missing alot in life.

i haf a dream .
alot of dreams to achieve all this while.
but sumhow rather, sumthing or sumone is in da way.
and i dunno juz how to liberate it.

am starting attachment soon.
tym flies so fast huh?..
im no more a teenager.
soon im gonna be a young adult.
goshh..
and if people keep on treating me this way,
i duno how possible am i gonna achieve all my goals in life.

PS: i wanna be e "old" me can?

09:09

guess wat?!!
i juz finished my 138 pages of documentation 10 minutes ago.
and now, it GONE!!

and yes, i did not haf a back up of dat copy so i hafta redo it all over again now.
and i hate it.
urrgghhhh!!!!

bingit ok!!!

i get to eat my mee kway teow kua la todae.
awwww.. i LOIKE!!!

PS: one more day to go.

Thursday, May 24, 2007 13:58

i duno.
i feel jealous.
yes.
envious.

i juz wish...
its ok.
no one wud understand me anyway.

~~sumtyms~~ it hurts to have a broken ohana.
period.

PS: appreciate those whu always made my day =)

12:33

wootss..
had my presentation juz now.
it was way better den e 1st.
i have dat confidence in me for dat moment.
and i leave e room wif a smile.

talking to my mentor juz gave me e confidence.
if i had him as my supervisor, i think i project is gonna be perfect.
he expect his student to give him the best.
and is always der if they haf any enquiries abt it.
i loike e way he motivate pple.

unlike my supervisor.
we barely see or talked to each other.
and in 12 weeks, i think i emailed him around 10 times..
sumtyms i duno wat to do..
he nvr even ask me how im doin wif my project.
but i dun mind.
mayb he's bz wif his own stuffs too.
but then again, its ok.
everythings over soon.

am doin my documentation now.
having briefing later on my IAP.
wonder wer im attached to.
i dun mind abt e pay..
i juz hope its somewer near my home..

juz met my Liaison officer..
he's e one whu shoot me during e 1st presentation.
but todae he's nice to me though.
hmmm..

and yes!!
im glad.
coz my attachment is not at jurong or tuas or kallang watsoever.
heheeh..
it's at Somerset mind u.

everybody was like
" waahhh somerset!! exchange wif me can?"
" wahhh somerset is near lor, can go shopping after werk sia"
" walauwe not fair leh, i kena habourfront der"

yes.
my intention was der too.
rite after i get my first pay, im gonna go shopping like mad can?

no tarian fer me.
hmmph!!
its always like dat.
dtg je dorang da abis.
usual practise slalu abis mlm sey.
at least lau dtg afta six pun leh do sum dance.
aru fyp da camni.
gosshh.
imagine if im on attachment..
dtg skola je training dabis..
buat penat jek.
haizz..
takpe workshop is starting.
so i guess, e training period will b longer.

had some interaction moments wif the freshies.
fadhil asked us to say out our worst or happiest moments.
haha.
i guess mine was e lamest.
hurhurhur..
but then again i was happy la kan coz im one of da few whu is qualify for poly.
yes n im alone.
wanted to b wif my frens. Planned to go ITE together..
but sumtyms u cant depend on them all e tym.
though my darlings are not here wif me, i noe they're doin their best out der too.

since e guys are havin dk n we haf dat room to ourselves,
we gurls start to ehem go wild wif the inverted comas..
yeah..
i had fun la sey.
kecoh ar..
in da dark, everything u wont see in the day, HAPPENS.
hurhurhur..
cant wait fer more..
lets shake our booty ladies...
heheheh
siaaao!!

i wanna thanx rizal for lending me his lappy.
yes!!
since tues la ok. and he say i can return it to him on fri.
cool kan.
seriously, thanx..
nvr in my life i see sumone did this.
i mean, a laptop is sumone's personal belongings ryt?
wateva it is.. THANX au rizaldo.
without this, i dun think i manage to get my project all done.
i owe u one dude.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007 10:38

i kept on thinking..
wats e purpose of having a boyfren?
is it fer money wen we're in need?
is it fer leisure wen we're bored?
or is it bcoz feelings started to grow out of nowhere
and u cant run away from dat feeling no matter how far u go.

remisnicing e past..
i dunch noe from wer e feelings come from.
its all out of a sudden.
mayb bcoz ders teeny weenie bits of feeling fer him though.
hehehe..
but im glad im wif him now.
nvr did i regret spending most of my tym wif him.
as tyms goes by, e feeling blooms..
and yes.
i lorve him.
i really do.
He has change me into being sumone i nvr tot i'd be.
He has make me realized between the rights and e wrongs.
and i thanx him fer dat.

at some point of tym..
i dun reallie care abt e money.
i dun mind us not having cash wen we're out.
its not e money dat counts anyway.
its e quality tym together.
and i juz lorve every single seconds wen im wif him.

sumtyms, i juz want u.
yes ONLY u.
ur smile.
ur convos.
ur touch.

but then again,
sumtyms..
i think dats askin fer too much.
even if it doesnt include dollars and cents.

how i wish,
he wants to talk to me..
he hopes im nt in trouble
he wants to hold my hand someone hopes everything turns out all right
he wants me to find him
he think i AM a gift
he hopes im are not too cold, or too hot
he wants to laugh with me about old times
he remembers me and wishes i was there
he needs to know that my love is unconditional
he values my advice
he wants ME to hold him in my arms
he can't wait to see me
he loves me for who i am
he loves the way i make him feel
he is glad that im his friend and always will
he trusts me

yeahhh..
took dat from some mail..
i noe its ridiculous tho..
but sumtym, u wanna be in ur life of fantasy too..
u noe like fairy tales?
hahah..
k dats childish..

went his house on Sundae.
his mum cooked my faves la sey..
Sambal udang and ayam lemak cili padi..
watched Kabil Khusri Kabil Igam wif them.
thanx ayg.
i wan Danny can??
geram seyyy..
mcm nk gigit!!
hey, i miss dat couzzin of urs.
yg rambut krinting tu..
will see them soon.

i juz wish im more open up to them
like he is to my family.
haizz..

and yeah.
i stayed home e whole day on Saturdae.
its hard to believe tho.

CAYANG???
wonder wat he actuallie meant by dat.
like eeeuuuuu can?
goshh..
my hair stands la ok!!

PS: Be Mature. Be very mature.

07:09

arsTRESSED caNn????!!!!
UUrrggHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

PS: i wanna go far. Far far away..

Wednesday, May 16, 2007 05:43

met jannah darling.

than met up wif rya hearts and shamim..

went mcg to lepaks..

and i ate a chix drumstick todae.

hmm..

slacked till 2 plus.

i get to eat my ayam lemak chilli padi from makcik's stall!!

yeayyiiee..

hahhaa.

i LOIKE!!

thanx to jannah fer halping me.

serious babe..

i owe u one.

tot of waiting fer ayg to finish his nyt class BUT,

he din go..

so, tk payah tunggu ler..

waited fer wan n bedah..

lepak-ed fer a while and went home.

i ate roasted DUCK fried noodle..

can u imagine?

DUCK???

hehehe..

but its tasty la..

watched anugerah together..

we were okay until sumthing happened.

it may b a joke but it hurts alot la kan listening

it coming out from his mouth and saying "dat" to me right to my face..

ntah eh..

mayb it was my fault too..

for praising others..

mayb i'll juz kip e comments to myself.

hmmm..

and worst is dat, he leave.

urrghh!!

had fone conferencing wif khai gf n zdakuzz..

i miss us la ok..

gosshhh!!

hahahaah..

no msg n calls.

he doesnt even noe im werried fer him.

mayb my care n concern was un-noticed.

haaaaiiizzzzz...

Tuesday, May 15, 2007 09:00

happy 20th bdae to ASYIQA!!!
aku rindu ko many2!!

cant wait fer nxt sem wer we will be meeting up DAILY
laughing non-stop every minute.
and gossiping as usual and u noe i noe k bestie..
i LOVE u!!!!

Monday, May 14, 2007 11:14

Happy Mother's Day!!

werked till 5 todae.
met ayg at Raffles city and get donuts fer e mommies..
ok like we queue fer 2 hours la todae.
took a cab to jurong.
reached around 8pm.

ate dinner wif e lorvee..
my grandma always asked fer him.
tk tau la knape but i guess u guys noe la kan..
hmm..
its like on any occasion, i tell u..
wheneva she sees me, she will ask " iman mane?"
hurhurhur..
he got his own family too also wat..
cant expect him to be 24/7 wif me wat..

we ate and watched some dvds..
Pochong 2 was scary la ok..
but i think its better den Jgn pandang blakang.

my aunts asked how long more do i hafta b in skool..
me: 6 months plus.
her: tahun depan abis la nie?
me: aha, bulan tiga agaknyer..
her: lepas tu ko keje eh?
me: tk tau.. tgk la mcm mane.

goshh..
its like soo fast can?
i duch even noe wat im gonna do afta i graduate..

ayg send me home again.
and yes, we took cab AGAIN.
goshh.
we're BROKE la..
yes, both of us are B-R-O-K-E!!

let ayg watched his Man U vs Westham..
and i only get to watch American Next Top Model at 11.45..
missed lots of it..

PS: i cant wait fer MY mother's day too..

Saturday, May 12, 2007 11:14

Friday

sheesha was fun.

i had fun wif e boify.

even khai gf joined us fer awhile before she went off wif her sis.

e bf keep asking me fer a kiss..

as in "U i nak kiss!" out loud la ok..

of coz la im like a bit paisey skejap..

i mean, this is a PUBLIC place ryt???

heheh.

and yes, jannah couldnt stop laughin wen she heard it.

hmm..

tk baik seyy..

ayg send me home..

rite at my door step.

like of coz, dats e usual thing he did.

duhh..

PS: i lorve kynn n khai. hearts gf.

Friday, May 11, 2007 12:20

todae was diff.
to me. heh.

ky was in my lab fer awhile.
we're playing this Treasure Hunt game..
my ayg's n mine all tym fave game.
heheh.

ayg came into my lab fer awhile..
accompany him fer lunch.
we ate cup noodle since all canteens were packed wif students!!!
saw nadia and shaz too..
sweet them..

saw anuar-man too..

hahaah..

cute la tgk ayg n him..

i noe they missed each other but they simply cant

hug or kiss eacth other like we gurls usually do kan..

nanti org ingat ape plak kan..

hmm..

went back to lab while ayg went fer his lab.
was browsing e net wen i actuallie fell asleep..
haizz..
must b very tired la.
mane tk penat, smlm non-stop la kan dorang kacau2 aku.
tkpe..
pls eh.. besok korang tkmu mcm2 ehh..

was startled wen i my hp rang la kan..
terperanjat gegerl..
wen i looked up, i saw ayg. hehe..
he made me smile la.
i LOIKE!!
hehhe..

"ayg i rindu u!!"
i heard him said that..
and he said it loud la kan depan org2 ramai..
i was terharu la kan but paisey sey..
it was like out of a sudden..
went to e ladies and looked at e mirror infront me.
i smiled..
padahal aru je jumpe sey..
awwww..

ntah eh..
he was so mushy todae..
knape eh?
but then again, im surprised la kan..
bukan slalu sey he reacted this way..
hmmmmm..

met e gerls at Far East..
had dinner at Cahaya as usual..
but kynn n me juz at e wantan n char kway while e others ate their meals.
seriously, i dun like e carrot cake.
its NOT nice.
no offence, sorrie.

went Tangs, Wisma n Taka to search fer kynn's bf adidas watch..
but too bad they stop selling dat model already..
can see e dissapoinment look on my gf face la kan..
ciann dierr..
tok to her bt stuffs..
its not dat im trying to interfere or wat..
but, i care..
i hope u get wat i mean.

OMG they keep talking abt goin clubbing thingy..
and it sux la kan wen i cant join them having fun..
urrgghh!!
nvm...
i'll juz pass this one out..
but i reallie x100 wanna noe wats its like in der.
haiiiizzz..

lepak-ed at Forum..
we had fun watchin all e prostitutes trying to get their prey
and it was more fun wen their prey actuallie turn them down..
i mean..
y do they hafta do all this.
is not like their NOT pretty or wat but they haf e body n e looks..
they are still other jobs around sey..
i wonder wat they feel..
i wont be DAT happy if im in their shoe.
but then again..
ntah eh..
mayb they haf their reasons la.

got to noe aizam is werking tonyt b4 goin back camp.
so, asked him fer some drinks..
hurhurhur..
he looked diff la kan.
da tk putih mcm dulu..

asked me n my gfs to lepak-ed at his werkplace konon..
nk anta minum pun malu..
hahaaha.
and yeah, i noe its dark la kan but he spotted it tho..
hmm..
obvious sangat ke??
thanx ehh..
hopefully we din get u into trouble.

saw khai gf n her sis..
told her abt tmr sheesha outing.
hopefully, she'll b joining us..

was in da bus wen nizam called me.

i tot it was my mum la kan..

but then again its not.

tk tau la kan ape mimpi dier kol.

crap la ok!!!

siaaaooo..

i cant believed he asked me dat question..

like OMG!!

like i say, wen i've moved on..

i wont be turning back..

and dats final.

going back to e past??

wen u noe wad had actuallie happened and it might happen again..

dat is RIDICULOUS.

period.

PS: ssssshhhhheeeeeesssshhhhhhaaaaa, here i come!

Thursday, May 10, 2007 13:24

as usual..
meet my client again tis morning.
and yeah..
it takes more than an hour todae..
verrrrryyy drrraaaaaggy..
haizzz..

alot of amendment here and der.
and of coz, alot of editing and creating of pictures..
urrgghh..
wadeva.

took bus to skool instead of da train.
tot of goin Clementi and go to skool wif ayg but
since he didnt reply my msgs, i went back to skool instead.
slept e whole journey tru sey..
best nyer..

reached lab early todae.
i dunch noe..
at tyms i juz feel bad.
but ntah ehhh..

had lunch wif ayg before goin to my clubroom.
wooahhh.. alot went fer e audition..
me??
nahhh..
juz not my cup of tea i guess.
i'd rather dance..
hahaha..

thanx to korang2 eh smlm!!!!
aku penat la.
serious.
dun do dat again k.
ok thanx!!

ayg got pissed off la kan coz he said im loud todae.
im sooo sorrieee..
i'll try NOT to do it again bUT.. dat depends la kan..
bukan i yg want it to happen pon..
haizz..
manyak susah la ini macam..

to wawa
happy 20th bdae babe!!
asal tk turun sey tadi?
haiyaaa...
kiter kua k one day..
may ur day b blessed wif love and happiness always.
heartsss dearest.

tmr goin out wif my darls!!
lets go our fave makan place and fave hang out spot.
if my fren is werking, we can get our free foods from him..
heheheh..
i LOIKE!!!

PS: aku capek la ok. korang tk faham ke?!!!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007 15:32

i give in.

but nvr get anything in return.
e feeling sux.

but then again.
its ok.
it happened ALOT of tyms before.

Sunday, May 06, 2007 14:35

i had fun todae..
despite e tiredness we had.
thanx a lot ayg dearest..
seriously, i've nvr had things like this before.
im glad i had it wif u..

met him 11.30 in da morning to buy ourselves da donut from donut factory.
and guess wat?
we waited for like almost 3 hours ok!!!
but it's worth it la seyy..
e donut was perfect..
thanx ayg.
we even bought 2 dozen.
1 for us. e rest for our mums..
so sweet la my dearest.

it was already 3.10pm wen we left Raffles city.
our body was so letargic.
but tho we're tired, we still had fun.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

ayg had already booked e movie tix thru Axs machine.
so, we dun haf to worry abt e seats..

watched Jgn pandang Blakang at 4.40pm..
i think e show wasn't gud lar..
waste my bf money adelahh.
da tk seram, mrepek plak tu..
walauweee..
luckily, we're watching spiderman 3 at 8.15pm..
so, its not dat bad la kan..
still, i get to cuddle him tho.
hmmmm..

saw fie hawt n his gf lyn.
hahaha..
sweet la kan dorang..
didnt get to catch up much la kan..
but still at least we did say hi to each other.

ayg send me home after dat.
i reallie feel special todae.
i dunch noe y la kan..
hmmmm..
is it me or is it u dat makes me feel this way?

wadeva it is, tho i dun say it often..
u noe, deep down in my heart how much i truly lorves u.
there might be 3rd parties wadsoever, but trust me..
i wont fall into their arms DAT easily..
coz, u've already been a part of me ayg..
i lurve u..

to dayah dearest,
thanx babe..
i lorve u too..

PS: i lorve my PUMA watch can??..
but as much as i want this watch, u noe how much i want u..

Saturday, May 05, 2007 05:34

its raining thes few days..

met ayg fer lunch.

but wen i met him, tk lapar pulak..

so he bought himself cup noodles..

we sat by e staircase la kan..

mcm da tkde tmpt makan gitu..

hahah..

moments of it was fun.

sumthing funny happen la kan tadi..

i nvr see ayg get pissed before..

mcm kiut sey dier..

hehehe..

all i can do is chuckled..

rupe-rupenye, matair aku satu ni pon jeles jugak..

PS: i cant wait fer Saturdae.=p

fer my nxt post, its gonna b sumthing diff and weird.

mayb sumthing BIG though. heheh..

Wednesday, May 02, 2007 12:35

our gifts to his mum.

wootsss..

wake up late la ok todae..

was pissed of wif sumone la actualiie..

urrgghh!!

tkpe..

ade lori ade bas. ade hari boleh balas.

jgn menyesal sudah ehh..

hmmm..

watched drumline wif my mum todae..

e show was ok la kan.

competing each other against da beat n creativity..

get ready around 3pm.

coz im gonna meet e boify at 6pm sharp.

first tym la ok i fetch him from werk.

excited sey..

wore a simple top todae.

e boify say i look like small innocent kid todae.

hmmphhh!!

wonder wat he meant by dat.

looked around fer sumthing.

but its not available.

shittoss!!

where can i get it then if everywer i went to, e model i wanted juz wasnt der.

haizz..

bought myself a beard papa cream puff.

and window shop at topshop, zara, pull and bear and adidas.

i want dat oldskool jacket can??

geram sey tgk..

tot of buying myself a top BUt i cant la kan..

nid to save fer my very big day later.

hehehe..

excited seyy..

i reached early la kan.

kul 5.45 sey da berdiri luar kedai dier.

but i dun think he noes la kan..

he only leave his werkplace at 6.20pm.

hmmmph..

tkpe..

im not mad either..

hahaahaha..

off we went to town to had our lunch cum dinner.

since both of us lum mamam agi since morning.

ate at Cahaya Far East.

finally i get to eat my beef fried rice..

suke seyy.

thanx dearest..

ayg tot of buying shoe fer himself.

i find e shoe coool la kan but poor thing, 7 is da biggest size.

now he cant get dat shu..

hmmphh!!

after dat, we went Tangs..

and to our surprise!!!

e thing we want was der..

right in front of our eyes..

i can see dat dearest of mine smiling...

awww...

im smilling too of coz..

like finally seyy..

hehehhe..

went Taka after dat to get his mum bdae prezzie..

tot of getting her a Guess handbag or mayb a couple of shawls but den,

we came across sumthing better.

yes!! we bougth her 2 Bonia purse.

1 of em cost $110 and e other cost $59..

BUT we get it at a very reasonable price la ok!!

genuine leather sumore seyy..

hahhha..

love it to pieces..

hopefully his mum likes it.

soon i'll have one fer myself tooo..

but i dun think its gonna b one of these brands..

soo not me la kan..

hehehh..

took e bus home as usual.

now ayg already got himself an mp3.

he wont b bored like he used to.

hehehh..

lurveeee uu alott la ayg..

yesterdae was i-duno-how-to-explain.

i think my mum reallie likes him.

heh..

hush hushhh..

PS: " ibu, nadia nak kawin dgn rizz skrg boleh?"